It’s St. Patrick’s Day so here’s to the kick-ass DC women who wear, wore or are green

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Let’s hear it for the Green Gals!

Scientific evidence has proven that if you are not reading Secret Six, you suck. Sorry, it’s science.
Gail Simone

SATURDAY NIGHT GRUDGE MATCH XXI: JEANIE VS SAMANTHA The last match ended with a victory for Catwoman! Selina adds a cool $3,000,000 to her personal stash, on top of the cat idol. Black Cat settles for all the left over jewelry and goes home $200,000 richer to lick her wounds. This week, we give a rematch to one of the hottest debates from previous incarnations of the SNGM! Fun fact: Did you know that the real world houses used to represent Captain/Major Nelson’s residence and that of Darrin and Samantha are on the same street? Well neither did these Magic Minxes! ~ Always trying to convince Sam to leave that dope, Darrin, Endora casts the most powerful spell she’s ever conjured, altering reality itself (ala Wanda Maximoff) and placing the Stephens’ house on the same street as a large two story house in which Endora senses a strong magical presence.  Thinking that the magic wielder must be a powerful Warlock, Endora is a little disappointed to find that the dashingly handsome owner is but a mere mortal. Nonetheless, if done properly, she could still break up Sam’s marriage and hook her up with a proper warlock later. She flips her hands and twitches her nose; suddenly, the consciousnesses of Darrin Stephens and Tony Nelson switch bodies. Both unfortunate husbands find themselves in the arms of another woman; the hot neighbor’s wife that they try not to let their own magical spouses notice. Hilarity ensues in typical 60s sitcom fashion until, after the boys run home to their unsuspecting wives and embrace them outside, the girls are suddenly being kissed by a stranger and watching some other floozy make out with their man. Enraged, both wizardly women charge forward into a spell-slinging catfight on the front lawn. So, who wins? The Quick-Blinking Bombshell or the Nose-Twitching Nymph?

SATURDAY NIGHT GRUDGE MATCH XXI: JEANIE VS SAMANTHA

The last match ended with a victory for Catwoman! Selina adds a cool $3,000,000 to her personal stash, on top of the cat idol. Black Cat settles for all the left over jewelry and goes home $200,000 richer to lick her wounds.

This week, we give a rematch to one of the hottest debates from previous incarnations of the SNGM!

Fun fact: Did you know that the real world houses used to represent Captain/Major Nelson’s residence and that of Darrin and Samantha are on the same street?

Well neither did these Magic Minxes!

~

Always trying to convince Sam to leave that dope, Darrin, Endora casts the most powerful spell she’s ever conjured, altering reality itself (ala Wanda Maximoff) and placing the Stephens’ house on the same street as a large two story house in which Endora senses a strong magical presence. 

Thinking that the magic wielder must be a powerful Warlock, Endora is a little disappointed to find that the dashingly handsome owner is but a mere mortal. Nonetheless, if done properly, she could still break up Sam’s marriage and hook her up with a proper warlock later. She flips her hands and twitches her nose; suddenly, the consciousnesses of Darrin Stephens and Tony Nelson switch bodies.

Both unfortunate husbands find themselves in the arms of another woman; the hot neighbor’s wife that they try not to let their own magical spouses notice.

Hilarity ensues in typical 60s sitcom fashion until, after the boys run home to their unsuspecting wives and embrace them outside, the girls are suddenly being kissed by a stranger and watching some other floozy make out with their man.

Enraged, both wizardly women charge forward into a spell-slinging catfight on the front lawn.

So, who wins? The Quick-Blinking Bombshell or the Nose-Twitching Nymph?

SATURDAY NIGHT GRUDGE MATCH XX: CATWOMAN VS BLACK CAT (Pre BND) Bet some of you wish it was SNGM XXX instead, eh? Well, save those filthy minds for your votes! The last match ended with a victory for Snake Eyes! Fortunately for Solid Snake, the American Ninja realizes his mistake before delivering the killing blow, but Snake will have to reacquire his weapons and gadgets before taking on Metal Gear. This week, we set Batman and Spidey’s Sticky-fingered Minxes against each other in a race for the perfect theft! Now, Black Cat has gone through a significant amount of power changes through her 31 years as a thorn in Parker’s side, so we’ll have to select one for the purposes of this race. Frankly, I always preferred Wolfman’s original BC with no powers, other than an implied knack for bringing others bad luck, and this compliments Catwoman’s implied amazing luck and survivability perfectly. ~ Wilson Fisk, otherwise known as the Kingpin, and Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot III, the notorious Penguin, have joined forces in a “legitimate business opportunity” in the great city of Philadelphia: the opening of a new club (obviously a front for less scrupulous activities) called the Icepick. Now Ozzie and Wilson have a flair for the dramatic when it comes to bringing people in, so they bring in a national museum’s worth of art and jewelry for the opening, including the Onyx Lynx of Cleopatra. This proves irresistible to Miss Selina Kyle and Miss Felicia Hardy, and soon both Feline Fatales have their ears on and are ready to roll! The game is thus: Selina and Felicia must each get by a plethora of techno traps and armed guards, steal what they can, and get away through the sky scrapers before Batman and Spider-man inevitably show up to try and stop them. If the two happen to run in to each other, it’s quite possible that a melee will break out; who doesn’t love a good cat fight? First to get back to their home city with the Felix Idol (and anything else they can carry) wins! So which Bombay Bombshell will it be? The Gotham Goddess or the Nymph of New York?

SATURDAY NIGHT GRUDGE MATCH XX: CATWOMAN VS BLACK CAT (Pre BND)

Bet some of you wish it was SNGM XXX instead, eh? Well, save those filthy minds for your votes!

The last match ended with a victory for Snake Eyes! Fortunately for Solid Snake, the American Ninja realizes his mistake before delivering the killing blow, but Snake will have to reacquire his weapons and gadgets before taking on Metal Gear.

This week, we set Batman and Spidey’s Sticky-fingered Minxes against each other in a race for the perfect theft!

Now, Black Cat has gone through a significant amount of power changes through her 31 years as a thorn in Parker’s side, so we’ll have to select one for the purposes of this race. Frankly, I always preferred Wolfman’s original BC with no powers, other than an implied knack for bringing others bad luck, and this compliments Catwoman’s implied amazing luck and survivability perfectly.

~

Wilson Fisk, otherwise known as the Kingpin, and Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot III, the notorious Penguin, have joined forces in a “legitimate business opportunity” in the great city of Philadelphia: the opening of a new club (obviously a front for less scrupulous activities) called the Icepick. Now Ozzie and Wilson have a flair for the dramatic when it comes to bringing people in, so they bring in a national museum’s worth of art and jewelry for the opening, including the Onyx Lynx of Cleopatra.

This proves irresistible to Miss Selina Kyle and Miss Felicia Hardy, and soon both Feline Fatales have their ears on and are ready to roll!

The game is thus: Selina and Felicia must each get by a plethora of techno traps and armed guards, steal what they can, and get away through the sky scrapers before Batman and Spider-man inevitably show up to try and stop them. If the two happen to run in to each other, it’s quite possible that a melee will break out; who doesn’t love a good cat fight?

First to get back to their home city with the Felix Idol (and anything else they can carry) wins!

So which Bombay Bombshell will it be? The Gotham Goddess or the Nymph of New York?

2 notes

SATURDAY NIGHT GRUDGE MATCH XIX: SOLID SNAKE vs SNAKE EYES Guess who’s baaaaack! Computer has been replaced (FINALLY), and we’re ready to rock! The last match ended in a victory for Cthulhu! The world is destroyed. Have a nice day! ~ This week, we set the two baddest serpents to ever perform a sleeper hold against each other in a Battle of the Snakes! ~ 2005: Shadow Moses Island off the South-West coast of Alaska: Solid Snake has just blown a fully armed HIND-D out of the sky and is on his way to take down Metal Gear Rex, once and for all. Meanwhile, Snake Eyes has been dispatched to Shadow Moses by G.I. Joe to investigate Foxhound’s relationship to Cobra and subdue, or if necessary, assassinate Liquid Snake. The helicopter’s explosion draws Snake Eyes to the tower, where he sees what appears to Liquid Snake (albeit with darker and shorter hair) holding a smoking Stinger launcher and armed to the teeth with a FAMAS assault rifle, an enhanced HK-MK23 SOCOM 9mm Pistol, and several grenades. Weilding his Arashikage katana and a standard issue G.I Joe 9mm Colt M-9 semi-automatic handgun, Snake Eyes leaps at Solid Snake and slashes the Stinger in half. “JEEZ-US!” Snake barks as he springs back, reflexively drawing his SOCOM in the process. “How many damn ninjas does this place have?” ”*,” Snake Eyes doesn’t flinch. “Alright, fine,” Snake growls. “Don’t talk to me. It’ll be nice to have a fight where my opponent doesn’t feel the need to monologue!” ~ So, who wins? The Super-Soldier, or the Silent Shinobi?

SATURDAY NIGHT GRUDGE MATCH XIX: SOLID SNAKE vs SNAKE EYES

Guess who’s baaaaack! Computer has been replaced (FINALLY), and we’re ready to rock!

The last match ended in a victory for Cthulhu! The world is destroyed. Have a nice day!

~

This week, we set the two baddest serpents to ever perform a sleeper hold against each other in a Battle of the Snakes!

~

2005: Shadow Moses Island off the South-West coast of Alaska:

Solid Snake has just blown a fully armed HIND-D out of the sky and is on his way to take down Metal Gear Rex, once and for all.

Meanwhile, Snake Eyes has been dispatched to Shadow Moses by G.I. Joe to investigate Foxhound’s relationship to Cobra and subdue, or if necessary, assassinate Liquid Snake.

The helicopter’s explosion draws Snake Eyes to the tower, where he sees what appears to Liquid Snake (albeit with darker and shorter hair) holding a smoking Stinger launcher and armed to the teeth with a FAMAS assault rifle, an enhanced HK-MK23 SOCOM 9mm Pistol, and several grenades. Weilding his Arashikage katana and a standard issue G.I Joe 9mm Colt M-9 semi-automatic handgun, Snake Eyes leaps at Solid Snake and slashes the Stinger in half.

“JEEZ-US!” Snake barks as he springs back, reflexively drawing his SOCOM in the process. “How many damn ninjas does this place have?”

”*,” Snake Eyes doesn’t flinch.

“Alright, fine,” Snake growls. “Don’t talk to me. It’ll be nice to have a fight where my opponent doesn’t feel the need to monologue!”

~

So, who wins? The Super-Soldier, or the Silent Shinobi?

4 notes

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
Old Monkey Wisdom

Woo! SNGM to return soon!

I finally got called by my insurance company for the settlement on my computer, and the news is good! I should be getting the check within a week and getting my computer operational again shortly thereafter, and with it, the SNGM and my weekly picks! Who knew that I could actually be pleased with an insurance agency?

CHARLIE’S PICKS 7/21/10 This week surprised me and hit with 8 great books, all of which would probably be off the radar of most readers. A few other books (like Legion of Superheroes and Zatanna, just to name a couple) were also really solid reads worth checking out, but I decided that I’d limit myself to a number of books that would fit in my iPhone’s lens frame! 8) TRUE BLOOD #1 by Alan Ball - Fangbangers will recognize this story’s author as the creator and executive producer of the show. It should come as no shock to say that this fangtastic (couldn’t resist) new story feels just like the HBO series in all the best ways. 7) NEW MUTANTS #15 by Zeb Wells - Spinning out of SECOND COMING and HELLBOUND, the New Mutants are recovering from the wounds and dismemberments they recently suffered and trying to rebuild as a team. Unfortunately, General Ulysses and his team, recently returned from the horrors of limbo, are in no mood to give the kids the break they desperately need. 6) THUNDERBOLTS #146 by Jeff Parker - This new team roster, including Juggernaut, Crossbones, Ghost, and Moonstone, are your classic “convicts earning their freedom” black ops team, but with a heavy BPRD twist. This issue asks what the team would do if given the chance to let Luke Cage die. 5) AZRAEL #10 by David Hine - The talents of Detective Comics veteran Hine and Hotham City Sirens’ Guillem March combine in an Angels & Demons-like thriller that is the perfect jumping on point for newcomers to the series. 4) TIME MASTERS: VANISHING POINT #1 by Dan Jurgens - Jurgens, the creator of Booster Gold, is unquestionably the master of how time travel works in the DCU. This tie-in to the RETURN OF BRUCE WAYNE is fantastically written and also features Jurgens’ classic art. It’s rare to see a writer/artist of this caliber. 3) THE SPIRIT #4 by David Hine - Dave was on a roll this week. This issue deals with Cocaine in the 1950’s without coming across as an after school special. I felt a throwback to the writing styles of Denny O’Neil’s GREEN LANTERN/GREEEN ARROW, which, coming from me, is a complainant of the highest order. 2) G. I. JOE: A REAL AMERICAN HERO #156 by Larry Hama - Starting with this year’s Free Comic Nook Day, IDW brought back the continuity of the 80’s GI Joe and got Larry Hama, the writer of the old Joe books, to continue his run as if it had never ended. The results have been fantastic. As it stands, COBRA has secretly seized control of the US Government and declared the Joes terrorists. 156 begins the counterattack with an issue filled with double digit “Hell yeah!” moments. 1) DC UNIVERSE LEGACIES #3 - After a now 20 something Paul Lincoln joins the police academy to try to help make up for the disappearance of the JSA during McCarthyism, a new generation of heroes rise to the challenge before his eyes. Just as #1 and 2 featured Golden Age artist Joe Kubert, now with the dawn of the Silver Age, veterans of that period (like legend Jose Luis Garcia-Lopez and WATCHMEN’s Dave Gibbons) continue the saga in the style of the day. This series is a real love letter to this history of the DCU, and it’s pulled off with the beautiful precision of the masters that were there when history was being made. Well, that’s it for this week! See you on the flip side!

CHARLIE’S PICKS 7/21/10 
This week surprised me and hit with 8 great books, all of which would probably be off the radar of most readers. A few other books (like Legion of Superheroes and Zatanna, just to name a couple) were also really solid reads worth checking out, but I decided that I’d limit myself to a number of books that would fit in my iPhone’s lens frame!
8) TRUE BLOOD #1 by Alan Ball - Fangbangers will recognize this story’s author as the creator and executive producer of the show. It should come as no shock to say that this fangtastic (couldn’t resist) new story feels just like the HBO series in all the best ways.
7) NEW MUTANTS #15 by Zeb Wells - Spinning out of SECOND COMING and HELLBOUND, the New Mutants are recovering from the wounds and dismemberments they recently suffered and trying to rebuild as a team. Unfortunately, General Ulysses and his team, recently returned from the horrors of limbo, are in no mood to give the kids the break they desperately need.
6) THUNDERBOLTS #146 by Jeff Parker - This new team roster, including Juggernaut, Crossbones, Ghost, and Moonstone, are your classic “convicts earning their freedom” black ops team, but with a heavy BPRD twist. This issue asks what the team would do if given the chance to let Luke Cage die.
5) AZRAEL #10 by David Hine - The talents of Detective Comics veteran Hine and Hotham City Sirens’ Guillem March combine in an Angels & Demons-like thriller that is the perfect jumping on point for newcomers to the series.
4) TIME MASTERS: VANISHING POINT #1 by Dan Jurgens - Jurgens, the creator of Booster Gold, is unquestionably the master of how time travel works in the DCU. This tie-in to the RETURN OF BRUCE WAYNE is fantastically written and also features Jurgens’ classic art. It’s rare to see a writer/artist of this caliber.
3) THE SPIRIT #4 by David Hine - Dave was on a roll this week. This issue deals with Cocaine in the 1950’s without coming across as an after school special. I felt a throwback to the writing styles of Denny O’Neil’s GREEN LANTERN/GREEEN ARROW, which, coming from me, is a complainant of the highest order.
2) G. I. JOE: A REAL AMERICAN HERO #156 by Larry Hama - Starting with this year’s Free Comic Nook Day, IDW brought back the continuity of the 80’s GI Joe and got Larry Hama, the writer of the old Joe books, to continue his run as if it had never ended. The results have been fantastic. As it stands, COBRA has secretly seized control of the US Government and declared the Joes terrorists. 156 begins the counterattack with an issue filled with double digit “Hell yeah!” moments.
1) DC UNIVERSE LEGACIES #3 - After a now 20 something Paul Lincoln joins the police academy to try to help make up for the disappearance of the JSA during McCarthyism, a new generation of heroes rise to the challenge before his eyes. Just as #1 and 2 featured Golden Age artist Joe Kubert, now with the dawn of the Silver Age, veterans of that period (like legend Jose Luis Garcia-Lopez and WATCHMEN’s Dave Gibbons) continue the saga in the style of the day. This series is a real love letter to this history of the DCU, and it’s pulled off with the beautiful precision of the masters that were there when history was being made.
Well, that’s it for this week! See you on the flip side!

Charlie’s Picks 7/14/10 Well, last week belonged to Marvel, but DC made a pretty fair comeback, holding 4/7 of the top spots! 7) JUSTICE LEAGUE GENERATION LOST #5 - Giffen and Winnick’s misfits continue to thrill, although this issue has a lot more of a serious tone than before. 6) BIRDS OF PREY #3 - I’ll be honest, I wasn’t really sold on this run of BoP until this issue. Conspiracies are hard to write, but GS is pulling it off pretty well so far. 5) COMIC BOOK GUY THE COMIC BOOK #1 - The funniest book I’ve read in some time. Simpsons Comics are regularly excellent, but the appropriately huge CBGtCB ups the ante and you can really tell that it was written by True Believers. 4) X-MEN SECOND COMING #2 - The 14th and final chapter of SC finishes perfectly with this oversized beauty. The perfect end to the best X-Men tale in years. 3) BATMAN #701 - Ever wonder what exactly happened between the Chopper Crash in RIP and Orion’s assassination? Come on, you didn’t really think that Morrison was going to leave you hanging, did you? 2) DAREDEVIL #508 - Shadowland continues as Matt’s closest friends come to terms with his actions last week. We also start to see behind the cowl as Lord Daredevil struggles internally with his path. Diggle, you brilliant bastard; you’ve done it again! I’m hooked! 1) SUPERMAN #701 - JMS’ Grounded arc that began in #700 really kicks off in a beautiful story of humanity’s questions for God with our Boy in Blue as the surrogate. If you’re looking for a slugfest, just don’t bother with this arc. On the other hand, if you want to read a marvelous fable of a humbled deity told by the Master, I promise you will not regret your decision. That’s it for this week! Get to reading!

Charlie’s Picks 7/14/10
Well, last week belonged to Marvel, but DC made a pretty fair comeback, holding 4/7 of the top spots!
7) JUSTICE LEAGUE GENERATION LOST #5 - Giffen and Winnick’s misfits continue to thrill, although this issue has a lot more of a serious tone than before.
6) BIRDS OF PREY #3 - I’ll be honest, I wasn’t really sold on this run of BoP until this issue. Conspiracies are hard to write, but GS is pulling it off pretty well so far.
5) COMIC BOOK GUY THE COMIC BOOK #1 - The funniest book I’ve read in some time. Simpsons Comics are regularly excellent, but the appropriately huge CBGtCB ups the ante and you can really tell that it was written by True Believers.
4) X-MEN SECOND COMING #2 - The 14th and final chapter of SC finishes perfectly with this oversized beauty. The perfect end to the best X-Men tale in years.
3) BATMAN #701 - Ever wonder what exactly happened between the Chopper Crash in RIP and Orion’s assassination? Come on, you didn’t really think that Morrison was going to leave you hanging, did you?
2) DAREDEVIL #508 - Shadowland continues as Matt’s closest friends come to terms with his actions last week. We also start to see behind the cowl as Lord Daredevil struggles internally with his path. Diggle, you brilliant bastard; you’ve done it again! I’m hooked!
1) SUPERMAN #701 - JMS’ Grounded arc that began in #700 really kicks off in a beautiful story of humanity’s questions for God with our Boy in Blue as the surrogate. If you’re looking for a slugfest, just don’t bother with this arc. On the other hand, if you want to read a marvelous fable of a humbled deity told by the Master, I promise you will not regret your decision.

That’s it for this week! Get to reading!

This is why I should not be cooking.
My Wife, after burning herself when she turned the wrong stove burner on while unsuccessfully attempting to boil water for Tea.